Bloggers Block

          I am shocked at how much energy it takes to get a tiny post on this blog. To set at a computer and put thoughts to screen is beyond me most days.
Life has become complicated and I question many of my beliefs about life, relationships, ministry, even writing. My core beliefs are in place but much of the practical side of life has become increasingly mysterious. My lack of confidence keeps me from blogging. Writing about something that I know well is much easier than writing about these issues that I am struggling with. How does fatherhood really work? What does it take to live a disciplined obedient life? Questions like these suck the wind out of my post before I even get started. 
          I don't know why but I feel like I need to write for some mysterious reason. So in this blogger journey I have learned a few things that are important in writing: time, communication, hardware and reading. 
Time: During my dreadlocked years I learned that any bad dread would become better with maturity, with the passing of time. Time allows one to step back and see the panorama of life as it unfolds. It is difficult to give any organized description of life without a basic level of objectivity. It is easy to focus on the negative, when taking things one difficult day at a time. However, when we step back, let some time pass, and look at life from a broader point of view the good days out weight the bad and things don't look so dim. Writing takes inspiration. Inspiration is its fuel. And like my truck, it runs out if not replenished. Often, we simply need time to rest and find a renewed inspiration.
Communication: There are a few people in my life who truly help me sort through my thoughts. Nate Branson has that talent.  Nate and I worked at Snowbird years ago and we've made a habit of talking about the writing life.  About once a month we have a conversation and swap emails about twice that often. He has a unique ability of asking the right questions which, directs my line of thought and allows me to come to my own conclusions. childhoods were similar, but our current journeys are quite different. We are able to look at each others lives objectively and see the oddities that have become normal. Benjamin Franklin once said, Any old fool can learn from his mistakes, it is a wise man that can learn from the mistakes of others. Nate's vulnerability has fostered many deep conversations. He is direct, yet caring and always empathetic. He doesn't hesitate to offer a gentle rebuke when needed. We all have those people in our lives. However, it can be a challenge finding those people in a sea of acquaintances. 
Hardware: For me writing is spontaneous. It is difficult to make myself write when I am not in the mood, I have always been like this. But, when the mood hits me I need to write it down. Year before last, my wife bought for me an iPad mini. This has been a great little device for keeping up to date on social media. Recently, I bought a Logitech keyboard for my iPad and a few days ago, I downloaded the Blogger app, I am using it now. The combination of hardware and software gives me the ability to write when it suits and publish when I have internet. Yet, I still keep a paper journal handy and give myself the pin and paper option when I am feeling nostalgic. 
Reading: The older I get the more time I spend with my face in a book. I try to read broadly and keep up a steady diet of novels, and nonfiction (i.e. biography, history, theology, and science). I have learned much about human nature in reading novels and pop-science at the same time. George Bernard  Shaw taught me to judge not all people by "middle-class morality" and Steven Pinker taught me to look at life as the interplay of constants and variables. Hugo taught me beauty. Twain taught me humor. Hemingway taught me wonder. Noam Chomsky taught me to question and Benjamin Franklin taught me resolve. 
          The most inspiring novel I have ever read is certainly "A Spent Bullet" by Curt Iles. His book changed my life, but not by prose or plot. Curt is my dear friend. Curt spends his time making the message and person of Jesus more knowable to the people of equatorial Africa through his work in refugee camps touching the lives of many from DRC, South Sudan, and Uganda. I had never read a novel written by a friend until now. I guess I always thought books came form the printers of publisher, not the minds of men, women, teachers, shopkeepers, politicians, and a few missionaries.