15 March 2020

on giving up

  
   A blog is probably not the best place to say this... I'd prefer a café. But I want you to know that I question my faith and so should you. When I left the States many years ago, I got slammed by all the junk in this messed up world. Questions like "Who is God?," "Why does bad stuff happen?," "Who really gets into heaven?," and for crying out loud, "Who am I?!"
      None of these questions are easy. I have been struggling to answer these for 20 years. The search for answers has led me to live with a beautiful tribe in Peru, make my home in war-torn South Sudan, walk many paths in northern Uganda and, presently, live among Muslims in Chad. Everywhere I go I find others trying to answer these same questions. I don't show up with all the answers but offer to struggle together with them as we seek a deeper life.
      I question my faith because I know that I don't have it all figured out. I love to question God because He LOVES to answer me! I am not looking for simple answers... I am looking for illumination. Augustine said, "The world is a book; those who don't travel only read one page." My questions have led me through many adventures of pain, sacrifice, and joy. I love it. I want more! I need to read more of the book to get more of the answer. I have to question my faith because I want a pure faith. I want the faith of Finnius, Abraham, Judson, Moon, Aquinas, Paul, and my grandmother. This faith is not easy, but it is worth it. So, to my fellow questioners, let us press on into deeper worlds and ancient texts; into the rabbit-hole inside us all. May we not only seek answers but become part of the questions. May your journey lead you further than the back door.

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