"We’re not preparing our children to someday just survive the world. Nor are we preparing them to just impress it. …No.
These last words of my sister’s post cut me deeply. The reason comes from my own fear. I am trying to change it and it's difficult. I’m not living a life I built for myself. South Sudan wasn't my idea. I’ve been doing this for some time now and it hasn’t been easy.
Many hardships of our missional life affect my son, and I shield him from all I can. I try to keep him clean to avoid dangerous infections. He sleeps under a mosquito net to prevent malaria. When there’s gunfire we stay inside. And I also put him in a carseat. But, do I want my life for my son?
“I want to raise my children to be like Jesus” has become cliché. But what does it mean? Do I truly want Shepherd’s life to be like Jesus’. Our savior was beaten and abandoned. His flesh was ripped from its bones 39 times. He was crushed. And I want my son to be like this man? My God, what have I said? Mary watched as spikes were driven into the wrists and feet of her oldest boy. My God….
Or does “be like Jesus” mean a nice, responsible young man; well thought of by others. I’m not sure who this Jesus is, but the one from Nazareth was hated and abused by others.
I don’t know what God wants for my son. But I don’t want him to suffer. I can’t imagine watching TV, hearing news reports of a war being fought where my grandchildren have made their home. I’m not strong like my father. I guess, I expect my children to have an easier life than Joseph’s son. But God's ultimate gifts are greater than all this world and the worth of Christ burns through my insecurities as a father.
Someday Shepherd might say, “Dad, God has called me to go…” I may be scared but I hope that I’ll be prepared to say, as my father said to me, “Son, I have known you would be leaving for some time. I love you. Go and obey.”
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